The Professional Paradox


Hot desk, cold coffee

The office has a new desk booking app, because apparently sitting down now requires software.

I booked desk 4.06 a week in advance. I arrived at 8.40 to find a man I have never seen before at desk 4.06, using my booked monitor, eating what I can only describe as a loud egg.

The app says the floor is at 40% capacity. The floor is visibly full. The app and the floor are no longer on speaking terms.

So I worked from the “collaboration zone”, which is a sofa with the structural integrity of a croissant, next to the sales team, who collaborate at a volume I’d describe as crowd-at-a-boxing-match.

Three video calls. From a sofa. Holding my laptop like a tray of drinks.

O and the reason we’re all called back in? Culture.

You can really feel it.

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